Writers Blog 05102016

My worst fears have been realized …

My mate Tommmy doesn’t read. Never has. Buys the Sun and looks at the pictures. Doesn’t even read the sport. He knows a shed load about horse racing, buys the Post, but never reads it because horse racing is all about numbers, eh?

But Tommy, ignoring his reluctance to practice our glorious language, is desperate wish to encourage me in my endeavors. Now I’d have been happy if he bought a book and left it on his book shelf, or lost it on a train. But Tommy was determined to read the novel, and leave a review on Amazon. He knew that’s what I needed so he was going to do it.

Now I suggested he just give me five stars and say cracking read, couldn’t put it down. Can’t wait for book two. But no, he thought that was patronizing. Just coz you’ve written a book, don’t mean you got the right to take the piss blood, right.’

So I gave him a hard copy, a proof copy but still an expense I wasn’t prepared to offer any other reviewers. And he’s on the phone within an hour. ‘I thought you said this was finished blood?’

‘Well yes it is. My expensive editor has had her paws on it twice. My proof editor, not so expensive has read and reviewed my rewrites. I have line edited. The damn thing is finished.

No blood, no way. Page six, you missed a fullstop blood.

He brought the book back the next day. ‘I’ll read it when you’re done, eh Blood.’