Writers Blog 300315

My worst fears have been realized...

Day 88 into my no beer diet and I have lost exactly 8 pounds. For a while, like the first 20 days the lard was dripping off my rotund frame, but that has ceased and I seem to be putting it back on. My time without beer has been miserable and the sooner I start drinking again the better, eh? They no beer diet has been a failure. The no beer diet sucks.

I was talking to Tommy the other day. Not about the diet. Tommy is rake thin and he drinks a lot. No I was talking about this blog I read about the pretensions needed to be a writer. I want to be a writer.

Me I like to write, I said to Tommy

Yeah so. You’se like to drink too.

Yeah I like to drink a bit, but you know I like to write, eh?

Yeah, so you say. I still think you like to drink more. I wish we had a drink now. Might make sitting with you more in’eresting.

I read this piece about writers and how they need to have these five traits.

Is supplying the booze one of them?

No, but being an active listener is.

Yeah I can see that. You don’t listen. Never have.

Piss off I don’t. It’s all I bloody do.

I asked you to bring the booze and you didn’t hear me did you. You never listen. Like the other day I was telling you about Billy Two Guns, you remember. How I told you he got those shoes, how they was too long, like long like a clown, but you didn’t hear a bloody word did you, ‘cause you ask me the next day, just after Billy’s tripped over the stupid bloody shoes, what size shoe does Billy take. Deaf you is. Bloody stone deaf.

Yeah, well you and Billy talk a load of crap sometimes. It’s just easier to turn off. I got troubles you know. I can’t be dealing with every little thing.

Anyway, this writer bloke reckons one of the traits is listening, so I’m going to be listening more, like. Try and get to the crux of stuff.

How’s that going to help your writing. You know, you talk a lot about you writing, but I’ve never seen you writing. Maybe you should be concentrating more on the writing, before you thinking about listening.

Piss off Tommy. Listening to you is my problem. I need to listen to people who’ve got stuff to say. That’s what I need to be doing.

So go listen to them then. And listen, like, ‘cause all you do here is talk. Too much bloody talking. What we need here is more drinking, like. That's what we need.

Stay hapless

Roo