The Hapless Writer-Adpit, the journey
Writers Blog 27022015
My worst fears have been realized…
Let me first mention the weight, ‘cause I’ve neglected to share how that’s going. And you might think I’ve fallen off the dietary wagon, drunk a keg load of beer and resumed the refined life of the take out drunk, but no, you’d be wrong. Still I exist on one day eating sensibly, one day eating like a sparrow. I have not touched a drop of beer, wine or spirit in two months and I walk those damn hounds three times a day. This is no sedentary bludging author we’re observing here. No. Have I lost any weight since jan 21 2015, like fuck I haven’t. Not an ounce. And sometimes, depending where I place those rotten scales on my warped bathroom floor it tells me I’ve put on weight. It laughs and mocks me as I seek a level patch of linoleum to tell me the last two months of hell have not been wasted. Bastard bloody scales.
Did I mention I have a finished novel? It's called <a href="http://www.haplesswriter.com/no-more-heroes-a-dystopian-thriller/" title="No More Heroes" target="_blank">NO MORE HEROES</a>. I have the funds to get it formatted and a cover created and a multitude of email literature to obtain a degree in ‘How To Promote’ said book, yet I have dithered for close on a month, pissing about with my website, making it look oh so pretty. It’s a bloody web site, it don’t need to be able to warble opera and thrash at rock, with a bit of fine strumming folk thrown in.
So what stops me. You see I partook in #Adpit the other day and it’s a bit like fishing isn’t it. Not that I know a bloody thing about hooking a fish, but I was writing pitches 20 per hour, dipping a toe in and wondering if the I’d get a tug. It was intoxicating, thrilling and desperate. I was retweeting folk I thought had no chance. I scoffed at their efforts. Pooh hooed their pitches, but still retweeted in the hope someone might tweet me back. And about midnight GMT I get a bite, my tweet is favoured and it was like I’d won the damn lottery. For the next three hours I’ve got the polish out and the air freshener and I’m rubbing and spitting and spraying that query, the synopsis is singing and the first couple of chapters are gleaming so brightly.
And three day's later I get asked for a full. Not since I was like17 has an agent/publisher asked for a full. So now I’m sitting at home with five queries out in cyberspace, looking out the window, tapping my foot wondering when the mail signal will morph onto my screen passing on the good news.
So I’ve done nowt regarding getting my cover created, my book formatted or got my promotion pack together. Bad news, especially if I get rejected. But I can’t get myself into gear to move forward. Either, published or not, I’m still going to need a promotion pack. This dithering and hoping someone will do it all for me, is hopeless. This time next week I will put forward my promotion package and see what you all think. Ah this time next week. I think I’ve said that before.
<strong>#adpit Dystopian world where law is subcontracted, & justice awarded to highest bidder, a hero called Ben is born #cr #sf</strong> That was my pitch, if you're interested, like. Don't matter if you're not.
Stay hapless, I’ve got a promotion pack to put together.