Hapless Writer-The Confusion that is Self-Publishing Promotion/Marketing

September 15, 2015

 

 

Writers Blog 15092015

 

My worst fears have been realized …

 

I stepped on the scales the other day and it told me I’d lost three stone and I heard the scales snigger. I remained on the scales reveling in the 12 stone reading and knowing the snigger had to stop the longer I rested my 15 stone frame on the flat surface. I stepped off eventually, gave the device a tap and a severe ‘don’t fuck wit me’ look and stepped back on. Just under 16 stone. Bugger. And I’ve given up the booze for almost a month and that hurts and one day eating, one day not and I’ve lost nowt. Or I weighed a shed load more than 16 stone and the diet is working, but I was a seriously fat bastard. Either way it is a scary weight. I’ve apologized to my heart and my poor ankles and knees for making it cart around the tub of lard that is my belly and arse and tits. Oh woe.

My novel NO MORE HEROES is still with the editor girl and I’m missing it. I’m hoping she isn’t treating it poorly. It’s only young and naïve and doesn’t take kindly to harsh words. And don’t get me started on the color red. Red shading in comments boxes and ruled under tracking changes really cause it to shudder and whine and scuttle back into a dark damp cave.

 

I’ve just read this article on promotion in Alli, I think that’s what it’s called, link, and it is telling me I should be advertising on Facebook to get more followers for my newsletter. What bloody newsletter? And who’s going to want to read my non-existent newsletter.

It warns against twitter packages and I concur. I don’t get why anyone pays out money to these companies that have a load of trash following them that don’t know how to read a paragraph without a diagram or a picture simplifying the message.

But I’ve been thinking about the newsletter and have even performed a bit of research and looked back through my emails as to how many rubbish newsletter type people I follow and their offerings are poor.  I must admit I’m tired of following people and their how to write or how hard is writing comradery crap. Most of the times I can see the crap forming in the subject line and I can delete but every now and then they trick me into opening and reading to the part where the poo goes plop and I curse for having wasted another precious minute reading their vomitus.

It can’t be too hard to write short stories about your characters and offer their exploits as newsletter filler. It would help with the back story, development of my characters and maybe build a following and impact on sales.

 

I’m just looking for a way to not spend money. I don’t like spending money. I don’t actually have any money to spend. I’ve got one pair of boots and winter is coming. I took the hound out this morning and returned with a wet smelly hound and boot full of water. That’s how poor I am. I live like a tramp. My dog eats better than me. My dog actually eats and he’s as slim as a whippet.

I accept I’ll have to pay for a provider for my mailing list, but paying Facebook doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t even like Facebook. In truth I haven’t looked through the video’s on advertising on Facebook coz I know it’s going to be bad news re the money thing. Does anyone know how to build a mailing list without spending shekels? Does anyone know what to put in a mailing list?

 

Oh yeah there’s a bit about Goodreads and there’s a whole video on how to do a Giveaway on Goodreads which I think is a good idea. I get loads of books off GoodReads, but I don’t think it works if you’re only going the digital route. I know Amazon allows you to do a promotional freebie period so maybe that would work for your Goodread giveaway.

 

As you can see I’m not much chop at this stuff, but I’ll certainly report back when I know stuff that works and costs diddly squat. Cometh November when NO MORE HEROES hits the Amazon book shop I’ll be begging for a space, an ear and a chance to get the damn thing bought.

 

Stay Hapless

Roo I MacLeod

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